Family Travel

How to Ensure You Won’t Be Invited Back

We are quite possibly the worst house guests EVER. We’re up in Quebec visiting family and the unthinkable has happened.  Yes, our four  year old has pooped himself. In bed. Someone else’s bed.  Someone else’s bad with white sheets and a fluffy white duvet with NO COVER on it. At 6:00 in the morning.  Poop everywhere.  Wait til he hears we had to throw out his favorite pjs- the ones with the zebra driving a car.  I never really understood the appeal anyway. I mean why would a zebra drive a car, why is that cute? BUT I digress.  What a way to start everyone’s day.  I bet they’re sooooooo happy we came to visit.

And the weather stinks!  We heard it was beautiful here all week but a dark cloud seems to have settled itself over the city and cold rain threatens.  Mother Nature really hates us for some reason.  On Monday she delivered an unheard of scorching hot April day which prompted us to defer running the Boston Marathon (something we’ve been busting ass for 5 months to prepare for).  I’m still bitter.  And now she’s going to give us rain, snow and maybe even sleet to ensure our lovely weekend away is spent NOT out exploring this beautiful city, but instead struggling desperately through the  days trying to ensure all the kids get along and hoping that  no further horrifyingly embarrassing mishaps happen.  This may be no easy feat given that our son is switching between humming Darth Vader’s anthem and singing “every day I’m shuffling” with impressive endurance (meaning he hasn’t stopped to take a breath in the last three hours).  Somehow I don’t think our hosts think it’s half as charming as we do, and we don’t really find it charming at all.  Also, our daughter has taken to speaking English with a French accent.  I think she thinks her non English speaking cousins will understand her better.  Actually, its probably more effective than Gavin’s strategy- he just yells at them.  And just now we caught the four of them about to sled down the stairs in a sleeping bag…got there in the nick of time.  They were poised on the top step, ready for flight and a trip to the hospital. Thank God for wine.  And thank God we’re with people who like to drink it.

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