The start of the new year always feels like anything is possible. Resolutions are made, ideas are formed, dreams take shape. The hope and feeling of anticipation lasts for a little while at least.. until the dreary days of winter start to wear heavy and the monotony of our daily routine starts to feel a little suffocating. Then spring comes and hope is renewed. Later, after the rain and the muck and the soggy days start to wear on us, it’s suddenly summer- a promise of long warm, lazy days. It’s all so predictable. And this year, I’m happy with the predictable. I’m craving routine and normalcy. There’s comfort in that. I want to know what is coming next.
The devastating loss suffered at Sandy Hook Elementary School shattered the end of 2012. An overwhelming feeling of sadness clouded everything I did- though I tried not to let it, for the sake of my own kids. I couldn’t shake the deep feeling of loss. Those beautiful children, those brave caregivers should all be here. And the families that have to go on without them.. well.. I just don’t have any words for the amount of compassion I feel for them. Unimaginable pain.
But with that comes a better appreciation for what I have. I’ve found that I’m a lot more patient with my kids, and in general. The little things haven’t bothered me too much, and I am better able to focus. I hug tighter and longer, and I say I love you a million times a day. I have found time I didn’t know I had to just play- no distractions, no thinking of all the other million things I “have” to do. I am trying to cherish every day for the beautiful gift that it is.
And there is a lot to look forward to in 2013. We’re going to France in February to visit with our family again- and since it’s school vacation week there we will get to see almost everyone- a rare treat, given how busy life gets! Winter in France is wonderful- brisk days, and cozy nights filled with long converations. And always there is the back drop of the beautiful landscape…even magical in stark winter light.
Then in April my husband and I are running the Boston marathon. This year we’re going to do it no matter what. In fact, training has already begun and I’m super pumped this year. I am more disciplined and feel better than I did at the start of last year’s training even though it’s already colder and much snowier than it was then. I’m sure a lot of my blogging this winter will be more like bitching about the training, but for now I’m content and having fun.
And, I’ve won a few awards for my floral design work this year which has revived my passion (which admittedly was waning a teeny bit) for my job. I’m excited about the events I’ve booked because they are all unique and fun and creative in different ways and should be really fun to work on.
Also I feel like the kids are at a great age now. Both are old enough to have real conversations with, and both are enthusiastic and inquisitive, which makes life fun. And they really are great kids. They are kind and funny and creative. Of course they can be challenging and that’s not so fun, but overall I think as a family we are really lucky with what we have. We have a good, strong relationship which helps when times get tough. I can’t wait to find out what adventures await us in 2013 and beyond!
So New Year blessings to all… here’s hoping it’s a peaceful, happy, healthy year.